panic attack

i'm so not good at managing unplanned situations... huhuhuh
rasa cam nak panic je n cpt glabah...

i'm in my 28weeks... n lately been having panic attacks on my preparation for motherhood. hahah
suddenly the few things left in the checklist seems sooooo important

things concerning me now:

1. cukup ke baju baby yg dah dibeli - kekdg rs dah byk kekdg rs hishhh ckp ke ni
2. bile nak start basuh baju2 baby & botol2 susu die
3. rumah mama tgh reno and most prolly will only complete by end of May. masa tu i will already reach 38weeks... bile boleh start angkut barang2 masa pantang blk kl... sempat ke? huhu
4. babysitter for baby belum confirm
5. tukang urut & persiapan bepantang x booking n prepare ape2 lagi
6. we gonna get our new house key next week... would be soooooo2 much easier utk start renovating and preparing d house asap so that by the time abes pantang boleh terus pindah... so baby nursery buat terus kat rumah baru je. tp sempat ke nak siapkan rumah tu before i teberanak~~~ huhuhuhuh. need to expedite. kalau rumah baru x smpat disiapkan... i will need to setup baby's corner in our current house tp byk furniture nk kena rearrange utk memuatkan baby cot in our small master bedroom... so penat die akan sama je mcm nk pindah~ hukhuk.
7. wlopon semua barang almost bought... tp semua teperuk dlm bilik blakang lg.. so masih belum terasa spt dah ready to deliver anytime soon
8. roughly i have 10 more weeks to fully prepare for everyting = 11 more wikens. out of 11 wikens... 5 wikens have been booked for family events and komitmen2 lain. so i'm left wif 6 wikens ONLY!!! huhu. and out of the 6 wikens... akan ade wiken2 yg i will need to travel to kl for frequent antenatal checkups wif my gynae...
9. i dn't think i'll get the chance to attend the much needed antenatal classes... wlopon ade org kate x membantu sgt pon... nnt lupe je... i think... in a way... it might help to boost my confidence to face labor n motherhood. at least adela sikit ilmu before the time comes. ilmu thru reading n bloghopping sgt tidak membantu menaikkan rasa konfiden malah rs cam makin neves jerk... hukhuk
10. i guess i'll have to forego my BABYMOON~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! waaaaaaaaaaa... sgt takut nak apply cuti time weekdays jus utk bejln2 sbb akan maternty leave slame 2bln nnt kan. n kalau g time wiken... which is already sgt limited... rasa cam xpelah... better spend d wiken getting us ready n settling everything rather than g holiday~
11. lastly i'm jus worried about taking d 2 months maternity leave... wlopon sgt look forward to being away from office... tp sgt risau memikirkan keja2 yg bakal ditinggalkan... all d initiatives n projects dat im supposed to do dis yr... d long leave will definitely affect my work plans... so sgt merisaukan... huhu

owh telupa... dulu konon semangat nk cari nama baby...
n now suddenly im stuck wif no names!! hahahahaha. poyos sungguh... so let's see what name pop up nnt lah~ :P

baby ddk bebaik dlm perut k... kalau boleh kuar elok2 minggu ke-40 supaya mommy sempat prepare kan d best for u k... love u...

my FAQ on pregnancy & motherhood

when i was in TTC mode... i dont pay much attention to pregnancy & motherhood stories..
so dat i don't stress myself out & dnt wanna be too hopefuls

but now dat i'm finally confident i'll be given a chance to be a mother...
banyaknyer persoalan yg berada di minda~ hihu
been googling whenever i got free times and once again i'm busy reading new blogs.

if not before this jus bloghop thru d blogs of b2bs who got married around my time...
unfortunately most of them pon dh kurang beraktiviti blog... so i got to find new resources...
i should thank those bloggers yg tegar and nvr failed to share their experiences & stories...
but trying to find answers were not that easy... boleh sakit pinggang jugakla mengadap laptop ni memlm... :)

so here's my own version of my FAQs (tp x sume dah ade answer)
sbbnye i think my best answer is own experience... so kenela tunggu xperience dulu br ley update btol2... huhu

1. in my 3-4 weeks of pregnancy... i experienced cramping and mmg rasa sgt x comfortable esp. at the left side of my tummy & rasa cam mild period cramps... nak jln kene slow2 sbb skt bile tehentak2... nak tdo xley ngiring langsung sbb sakit juge...& my perut mmg membuncit mcm dh pregnant 2bln... huhu... my question was... is it normal??? google says some ppl do experience mild cramping at lower abdominal area & its normal... so i choose to bear d pain... mmg x mengeluh ke sesape except to hubby. reason being - i wanted to be pregnant sooooooo much... so when i finally got d +ve line... i said to myself... if dis is wut it takes to be a mom... i'll endure anything. n 2ndly... i was afraid ppl will say how manja i was... nak pregnant sgt tp sakit sikit dah nak mengeluh2. n ppl can be very2 harsh with their comments...huhuhu. seriously i dnt expect others to understand so i choose to keep it to myself. WRONG DECISION. huhu.
went to see my gynae in the 4th week... she was surprised to see my tummy... n bile die tanye ade sakit2 x... i said ade kalau jln n tdo mengiring. n she looked really2 concerned... trus suruh scan... n to our horror... rupe2nye i was having some early pregnancy complications due to the iui & hormone injections. my tummy penuh dgn fluid. n worst d doc couldnt even locate any embrio sack in my uterus. kalau dh my gynae pon mcm risau gile... i was already at the verge to cry. sbb she gave us 2 possibilities. 1. i'm having ectopic pregnancy (kandungan luar rahim). OR 2. its jus a temporary complications and d fluids could dissappear soon & insyaAllah by then, we can see d fetus. immediately got warded. i was strictly given 2weeks mc. i bedrest fully for those 2 weeks.. and alhamdulillah... the pain ease by days... n perut pon dh kurang buncit n keras... i was feeling more positive.. & our next scan confirms dat fluid has lessen and my gynae can finally see d sack... alhamdulillah... so from then on... i promised myself... ppl can judge me however they feel like. i shldnt take their words for my wellbeing. go see d specialist. huhu panjangla plak baru FAQ no. 1, ok next...

2. when can i start shop for my baby?
- everybody keep saying awal lagi awal lagi awal lagi. but i can't help but freaks out everytime i check out d baby's checklist. and wif hubby working on shifts. we have limited weekends for shopping & surveys. plus wikens for balik kgs, family events, etc. n i was having bad sickness so night shopping is jus a no-no for me. penat & mmg rasa lemah je nk kuar memlm after work... mmg pk nak rehat jer. so as for me. i drafted my checklist in my 4th month. start shopping in my 5th month. our strategy was to get d big stuff first... so 1st spree....beli stroller+carseat, & bouncer. bile dh msk 6th month.... ade wiken hubby keje mlm... so siang tu ajak die g beli brg2 baby... hasilnye... now at 27th week... i can comfortably say i'm at 95% of my checklist... heeee... lega! actually for the small2 things tu mmg kejap je.. 2 shopping trips and i could slash out most of the items... :D i dare not wait for my 7th-8th month n baru nak shopping... lantakla org kate awal sgt wutsoever... i'm d kind of person who freaks out for d little things and x suke kalau ade perasaan nnt x smpat mcm maneeeee. huhu. u can say i worry too much.... but now i'm already starting to worry bout how i'm gonna plan for my baby's aqiqah. hihuuuuu. i think too much yes. :P

3. how much clothing should i buy for my baby?
- ok ini mmg confusing. i seriously do not know how much is enough. huhu. so far i've bought 4 long sleeves set, 3 short sleeves set, 1 sleeveless set, 4 rompers, 2 leggings and 7 outing clothes. ranging from 0-3,3-6 & 6-12 mths sizes. owh outing clothes tu jd byk cos i can't stop myself from buying cute skirts. hihu. :P nnt i feedback smule whether this is enuf or not k. :)

4. wut brand/type should i buy??
- this practically covers every thing!!!! diapers, feeding bottles, breast pads, maternity pads, barut baby, detergents, etc.2. Confuse gile xtau nk beli brand ape n type ape! i end up buying a little of every brand i came across and hopefully i can write some reviews later on... huhuhu. i would definitely urge mothers to write theirs as i think these reviews are d most important google answer m2b is searching for. but for the big things like strollers, bouncers, playpens, carriers, breastpumps, sterilizer, etc. tu x mampu la eden nk beli byk2 kan~ hehe but luckily this big items slalunye byk reviews u can find so pasrah jela beli... :P

5. d difference between maternity pads and normal pads. perlu ke maternity pads ni?
- based on google search... most mummy recommends pureen madame maternity pads... so just to be on d safe side... i got 2 pack of 20s of those and 1 pack of 10s of kotex maternity loop. i opened up the packaging to see if it is of much diff then d normal pads. hurm. as for pureen tu mmg btolla... it's wider n longer then normal pads. but it has no wings... so agak sceptical d ctu.. btol ke xkan bocor? for kotex tu rase2nye normal pad is way more convincing... huhu. i usually wear whisper for extra heavy flow... d only pad that prevents me from leakage and gives me 100% confident. so.... later i'll review whether u really need this maternity pads or any heavy flow pad will do.

6. ok ni bkn FAQ. tp pemberitahuan. if u r gonna get urself a Guardian disposable undies. it's cheap (at RM5 per pack of 6). get size XL or XXL kot if u usually wear size M of normal undies (triumph/sorella maternity undies). adalah kerana size M die kecik! huhu. it fits but jus enough fit. huhu. n being pregnant haruslah u get bigger bums... so later i'll check out size XL n XXL k

rasa cam byk lagi FAQ nk tulis.... tp dah ngantuk... so i guess i'll stop for now... huhuhuh..
later2 sambung blk...

nite2...